1) What are the requirements to be married in the Catholic Church?
2) Why do we have to follow a Marriage Preparation course?
3) What does Marriage Preparation consist in?
4) Is it valid to do our Marriage Preparation Online?
5) How can an online course allow personal interaction, and answer the specific needs of each couple?
6) Do couples have set appointments with their instructors, either over the Internet, or over the phone?
7) Do couples have to wait for their answer key before they can move on to the following worksheet?
8) How fast can the couple start the course after they register?
9) How fast can the couple expect to have an answer to their work?
10) How fast can the course be completed?
11) I am planning to marry overseas. My fiancée is taking a class on her own there. Is it possible for me to take the class by myself? If so, is there a discount?
12) We have been civilly married 17 years and are asking the blessing of the Church in a convalidation.
Why do we have to take a marriage prep course?
13) Why does the program focus so much on the spiritual aspects of marriage rather than on life-skills?
14) How much does it cost?
15) What if one of us is not Catholic?
16) What if one of us (or both) has been married before?
17) What is an "annulment?"
18) Which readings can we chose for the ceremony?
19) What do the different symbols of the wedding ceremony signify?
1) What are the requirements to be married in the Catholic Church?
The first step is to contact your local parish priest or deacon.
Usually the preparation is done in the diocese where the couple lives. The local parish priest will put together a file that he will send to the parish where the couple will be married.
The couple will need to provide their certificate of Baptism and fill different forms with the local priest (see example here).
”Catholics who have not yet received the sacrament of confirmation are to receive it before being admitted to marriage, if this can be done without grave inconvenience.” (Can. 1065 §1)
“Before a marriage takes place, it must be established that nothing stands in the way of its valid and lawful celebration”. (Can.1066)
The parties to a marriage covenant are a baptized man and woman, free to contract marriage, who freely express their consent.
To be free means:
- not being under constraint
- not impeded by any natural or ecclesiastical law. CCC 1625:
A. Emotional capacity.
Maturity (today we consider that a man is mature around 25/26, a woman around 19/21).
B. Psychological capacity.
Victims of incest, persons coming from alcoholic homes, drug addicts home, violent and abusive home, signs of bulimia etc. Need therapy.
Can.1095 "The following are incapable of contracting marriage:
- those who, because of causes of a psychological nature, are unable to assume the essential obligations of marriage."
C. Physical capacity.
Can.1084 §1 "Antecedent and perpetual impotence to have sexual intercourse, whether on the part of the man or on that of the woman, whether absolute or relative, by its very nature invalidates marriage."
Marriage should be celebrated in the public liturgy of the Church.
Since marriage is a state of life in the Church, certainty about it is necessary: hence the obligation to have witnesses.
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2) Why do we have to follow a Marriage Preparation course?
”Pastors of souls are obliged to ensure that their own church community provides for Christ's faithful the assistance by which the married state is preserved in its Christian character and develops in perfection. This assistance is to be given principally: by personal preparation for entering marriage, so that the spouses are disposed to the holiness and the obligations of their new state”… (Can. 1063)
Marriage is a life-long commitment. We see too many broken families and the increasing rate of divorces to remain indifferent. You want your Marriage to last and to be strong. You want to commit in full knowledge of what marriage is all about, especially in the Catholic Church..
It takes years of studies for a priest to be ordained and fulfill his vocation. Marriage is also a vocation and also a life-long commitment. It needs to be prepared in order to last." So that the “I do” of the spouses may be a free and responsible act and so that the marriage covenant may have solid and lasting human and Christian foundations, preparation for marriage is of prime importance.” CCC 1632
“It is the desire of the Catholic Church to be present and accompany couples from the time they begin their marriage preparation and continuing throughout all the phases of life. In order for this to be possible, we see the necessity of preparing the bishops and all pastoral ministers: priests, religious and lay, to accompany these couples and these families. We must also call upon teams of professional laypersons to help us in this work.” Bishops of the Americas 18 February 2004
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3) What does Marriage Preparation consist in?
Marriage preparation must begin at least 8-12 months prior to a couple's anticipated wedding date. The very first step is to make an appointment with your priest. He will let you know what the requirements of your diocese are concerning marriage and will help you fill the necessary papers. You will need to give him a certificate of your Baptism.
Then you will be able to start preparing for the sacrament through a manageable series of meetings and educational workshops.
- Complete a marriage preparation inventory (usually a FOCCUS test). This tool is designed to assess the strengths of your relationship and areas that may need growth. Depending on your parish, you may also meet with a married mentor couple to help you review the inventory.
- Participate in Natural Family Planning Classes. Check with the Office and Marriage and Family Life of your diocese to register.
- Attend specific Marriage Preparation classes as offered on this site.
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4) Is it valid to do our Marriage Preparation Online?
The Marriage Preparation we teach online is the fruit of 12 years of approved practice in the Archdiocese of Denver. It is even more complete than our live classes thanks to the possibility of linking you to so many important documents such as the Catechism of the Catholic Church, The Canon Law, excerpts of different books, etc.
Catholic Marriage Preparation, LLC. has been adopted by many dioceses around the U.S. and even around the world.
At the end of the classes, you will receive a Certificate issued by Catholic Marriage Preparation, LLC.
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5) How can an online course allow personal interaction, and answer the specific needs of each couple?
Each couple is assigned an instructor couple who will work one-on-one with them, reviewing and personally answering each of their worksheets.
The course does not consist in a “multiple choice” type of questions and answers. Couples must formulate their answers in complete sentences.
“We were so impressed by the way our instructors took the time to write such detailed and informative answers. We were afraid that going the online route would be impersonal and that we wouldn’t get much out of it, but we were so surprised to see how much we got out of it and how open and honest and informative our instructors were. We also greatly appreciated their effort in providing timely responses. They added a great personal touch to the course that really helped us feel comfortable with the material and them as ourinstructors.” Andy and Natalie
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6) Do couples have set appointments with their instructors, either over the Internet, or over the phone?
No. There are no set times or set meetings, couples can email their instructors at any time with their questions. Couples fill out a worksheet and submit it, their instructors review it and upload a personal answer key onto the couple’s profile, with the linkto the next worksheet.
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7) Do couples have to wait for their answer key before they can move on to the following worksheet?
Yes. The work is done in two parts: the couple answers the questions, and then reads the answer key. There is a progression of learning in the course. Each worksheet is built upon the previous one and reading the instructor's feedback together is as important as filling out theworksheet itself.
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8) How fast can the couple start the course after they register?
They can start as soon as they have received the confirmation email thatis sent automatically to their email address after they register. The links to their first two worksheets are in this confirmation message. The couple will start the course by clicking these links.
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9) How fast can the couple expect to have an answer to their work?
Instructors review worksheets within 24 hours to a maximum of three business days. They will give priority to couples whose wedding date is closest.
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10) How fast can the course be completed?
The minimum is two weeks, the maximum is three months.
Most couples complete the course in an average of six weeks.
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11) I am planning to marry overseas. My fiancée is taking a class on her own there. Is it possible for me to take the class by myself? If so, is there a discount?
We have launched this online marriage preparation to allow couples who are separated by distance to still be able to prepare TOGETHER. Marriage prep is not just about gaining more knowledge. It is about getting to know each other in a deeper way and preparing together for the challenges of married life. Marriage is for a couple, not an individual, so marriage prep is also for a couple.
Since the price is the same, the best would be to work through the program together. The perspective your fiancée will offer you will be valuable to your relationship.
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12) We have been civilly married 17 years and are asking the blessing of the Church in a convalidation. Why do we have to take a marriage prep course?
A “convalidation” is not just the Church’s recognition of an existing situation, nor a blessing of an existing union.
Convalidation = Sacrament of Matrimony with all the same “obligations and benefits,” or “goods and requirements”.
“A convalidation is not simply a renewal of the previous intention to marry,but the creation of a valid marriage in the sight of the Christian community.” USCCB
Canon law requires proper preparation for entering the sacrament of marriage. Individual dioceses establish the guidelines for this preparation. A civilly married couple needs to learn all that the Sacrament of Matrimony entails.
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13) Why does the program focus so much on the spiritual aspects of marriage rather than on life-skills?
First, a few numbers...
Average age at first marriage:
Women 1970= 20.8 2010 = 26.1
Men 1970 = 23.2 2010 = 28.2
Women giving birth for the first time at age 30 or older:
- 1970 = 4%
- 2007 = 22%
Because more and more couples are getting married later in life, they are no longer coming to the Catholic Church to learn these basic skills. We cannot give these couples the same kind of preparation that we were giving 20 or 30 years ago, when young people had a solid religious formation through their families.
Most couples today have learned how to communicate through their careers, their counselors, or just the Internet, and the abundant literature one can find on the market. They have also had to learn how to handle money effectively through living on their own.
Couples today mostly need a moral compass and catechesis.
They need to learn to give Christ the first place.
We try to have a holistic approach of the life-skills. We cannot separate the practical from the spiritual.
Still, throughout, our program focuses on many different life-skills, linking them to the spiritual:
First worksheet: The reading of Genesis eliminates any confusion about our life’s mission as male and female.
Second worksheet: St. Paul teaches us how to communicate and live as husband and wife.
Third worksheet: We approach chastity and family planning. We also discuss families of origin, and what discipline is about. We give resources on child rearing.
Fourth worksheet: We focus on forgiveness, one of the most important skills in marriage!
Fifth worksheet: We go into the more “traditional” type of life-skills such as potential problems, communication, conflict resolution, budgeting, and expectations.
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14) How much does it cost?
The price of a class is $165.00 per couple for the online program.
It is $180 per couple for the live classes.
TERMS AND CONDITIONS
IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO KNOW IF THIS COURSE IS ACCEPTED BY YOUR PASTOR.
PRIVACY STATEMENT:
CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION ONLINE RESPECTS YOUR PRIVACY.
WE DO NOT SELL OR RENT YOUR PERSONAL CONTACT INFORMATION TO THIRD PARTIES.
REGISTRATION DURATION:
CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION ONLINE ALLOWS THREE (3) MONTHS OR NINTY (90) DAYS WHICH EVER IS LONGER (NOT EXCLUDING WEEKENDS OR HOLIDAYS) FROM THE TIME OF ENROLLMENT FOR COMPLETION OF THE PROGRAM, AFTER WHICH TIME ACCESS TO THE PROFILE WITH THE USERNAME AND/OR PASSWORD WILL BE AUTOMATICALLY CANCELLED.
IT IS UP TO THE DISCRETION OF CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREP LLC WHETHER AN EXTENSION WILL BE ISSUED IN EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCES.
IF WITHIN THIRTY (30) DAYS THE MANAGERS OF CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION ONLINE ARE CONTACTED THE PROFILE WILL BE REINSTATED FOR FREE. AFTER 30 DAYS THE RE-REGISTRATION FEE IS $50.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER:
FAX 866-425-7193
THE MATERIAL AND CONTENT POSTED ON CATHOLICMARRIAGEPREP.COM ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT ANY EXPRESS WARRANTY OR IMPLIED WARRANTY OF ANY KIND INCLUDING COMPATIBILITIES OF COUPLES, SOUNDNESS OF MARRIAGE, OR GUARANTEE AGAINST SEPARATION OR DIVORCE. IN NO EVENT SHALL CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION, INC., CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREP, LLC OR ANY OF ITS AFFILIATES OR SUBSIDIARIES BE LIABLE FOR ANY DAMAGES WHATSOEVER (INCLUDING, WITHOUT LIMITATION, DAMAGES FOR LOSS OF MARRIAGE, BUSINESS INTERRUPTION, LOSS OF INFORMATION) ARISING OUT OF THE USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE MATERIALS, EVEN IF CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREPARATION, INC. OR CATHOLIC MARRIAGE PREP, LLC HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
PROGRAM MATERIAL:
ALL CONTENTS OF THIS PROGRAM ARE COPYRIGHTED AND ANY AND ALL COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENTS WILL BE PROSECUTED TO THE FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW.
CANCELLATION AND REFUND POLICY
YOU MAY CANCEL YOUR REGISTRATION WITHIN FIVE (5) BUSINESS DAYS OF YOUR ENROLLMENT ON THE CONDITION THAT NO WORKSHEET HAS BEEN SUBMITTED. REFUND WILL BE AVAILABLE MINUS A $20 ADMINISTRATION FEE.
FOR ASSISTANCE WITH A CANCELLATION OR REFUND, CONTACT US OR CALL US TOLL FREE
1-866-425-7193
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15) What if one of us is not Catholic?
If your fiancé(e) is not Catholic, you will need permission from your local Bishop (called a dispensation) to be able to get married in the Catholic Church. Your parish priest can help you with this formality.
Promises:
The Catholic spouse promises to do all in his/her power to have their children baptized and reared as Catholics.
The non-Catholic spouse must be informed of this promise but does not have to promise anything.
Both must be instructed in the teachings of the Catholic Church regarding marriage.
Where:
The Catholic Church expects a marriage to be celebrated in the local Catholic parish church of the Catholic party. However, permission can be given by the local bishop for a marriage to be celebrated in another church or place of worship.
How does a “mixed” marriage affect the ceremony?
A mixed marriage can take place within a Nuptial Mass only if the non-Catholic person has been baptized in a Christian Church. To the extent that Eucharistic sharing is not permitted to the non-Catholic guests by the general discipline of the Church, this is to be considered when plans are being made to have a mixed marriage at Mass or not.
Your non-Catholic friends and relatives can take part in the ceremony by reading, praying, singing or participating in the offertory procession.
What about the ministers?
The ordinary minister at a mixed marriage is an authorized priest or deacon. A non-Catholic minister may attend the marriage ceremony and may also address, pray with, and bless the couple.
For appropriate pastoral reasons, a bishop can grant a dispensation from the Catholic form of marriage and can permit the marriage to take place in a non-Catholic church with a non-Catholic minister as the officiating minister. A priest may attend such a ceremony and may also address, pray with, and bless the couple.
It is not permitted however to have two religious services or to have a single service in which both the Catholic marriage ritual and a non-Catholic marriage ritual are celebrated jointly or successively.
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16) What if one of us (or both) has been married before?
If one or both parties have been married before, whether civilly or in a church, it must be proven that the marriage was not valid in the eyes of God to begin with and they will need a Declaration of Nullity.
For all questions and in any doubt contact the Metropolitan Tribunal of your Diocese.
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17) What is a Declaration of Nullity?
It means that one of the elements that makes the marriage valid in the eyes of God was missing.
A declaration of nullity is an official legal process of the Catholic Church Court system (Tribunal), which states that parties to a formal marriage are no longer bond by that union in the eyes of the Church. This statement is based on Catholic Church law and Catholic theology of marriage.
Church law states that all marriages are presumed valid until the contrary is proven (Canon 1060). When a petitioner makes an allegation that his/her marriage is invalid, it must be proven. This is the purpose of the annulment process.
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18) Which readings can we chose for the ceremony?
The following website can help you through the organization of your ceremony:
http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/readings-rite.htm
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19) What do the different symbols of the wedding ceremony signify?
The Engagement ring:
Since antiquity, the gift of the engagement ring is included in the engagement's rite. In the Middle Ages, even the fiancé received a ring, the same ring as his fiancée’s. It showed everyone that a contract had been signed. In the XV century, the diamond became the favorite gem for the engagement ring to symbolize the princely engagements. The silver and goldsmiths engraved symbols of the Virgin Mary or letters of the alphabet or sentimental lines. These symbols often enhanced the permanency of the union of the spouses. (Magnificat, EDIFA 1999.)
The Wedding Dress:
The Wedding dress has not always been white. In the antiquity, Greek, Roman and Egyptian brides were dressed in white, symbol of virginity. White was also the color for the liturgical ceremonies. In the Middle Ages, the bride was wearing her most beautiful dress, vibrant red was mostly used. In the different regions of each country, the bride was wearing the traditional dress until very recently. It is only in the XIX century that we find white dresses again. White is considered as the natural color of virginity. White also recalls the Baptism garment, symbolizing that the person has “put on Christ, has risen with Christ.
The Bouquet:
In the Eastern Byzantine tradition, the flowers were meant to call divine protection upon the spouses. For the Romans, the crown of verbena was a symbol of fertility.
In the 1500's most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Today the bouquet, made of soft-colored flowers, round or in cascade, is an essential requisite for the Bride. It is not only decorative. Often the newlyweds bring the bouquet at the feet of Mary. In doing so, after the ceremony, the new spouses ask for Mary's tender protection upon their future family. This first gesture of the new spouses is greatly symbolic: as soon as they are married, the spouses look at Mary who was spouse and mother to entrust her their family and their fecundity.
The Wedding bands:
The Wedding band remind everyone that the person wearing it is married. That was already the meaning for the Romans. A Wedding ring in French is called a "covenant". Generally worn at the well named ring finger on the left hand, the ancients called it "the finger closest to the heart". They said there was a nerve linking directly this finger to the heart. The circular shape symbolizes the continuity, the indissolubility of the Marriage.
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