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Not the Destination...

Marriage is a journey, not a destination...

Am I a Worthy Wife? Is Dan Blessed?


Part of my morning prayer routine is reading the daily scriptures that the Catholic Church gives us for Mass and spending time pondering the message God is calling me to hear.  After pondering for a moment or two, I spend time journaling about the message.  Today, I literally wrote: “I think the readings want me to know that Dan is very blessed to have me as his wife!”  I then spent about five minutes laughing.  Of course, I told Dan, exactly how blessed he was.  He is so smitten, that he agreed with me.  This made me laugh even harder. 

Today’s first reading states: “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.  Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.” (Proverbs 31: 10-11) Of course, my reflections today went beyond my giggles and landed me into a full reflection on marriage and the responsibilities of being a good wife.  That reading goes on to tell us that a worthy wife brings good, and not evil ALL the days of her life.  I can guarantee you there are days that I know I am not always good.  Instead I am sassy, crabby, and I think my husband and children could say there are days that I seem more evil than good.  It states that a worthy wife works with loving hands, reaches out to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.  Thankfully, it states that a worthy wife needs not be charming or beautiful because those characteristics can be deceiving and fleeting.  As my hair turns greyer each day and the baby weight I just cannot shed remains (yes, nine years later) …I am appreciative for this clause in the reading!   What I learned and pondered is that a worthy wife has a lot of responsibility!  Am I really a worthy wife?  Is Dan really that blessed? 

The Gospel then tells us the Parable of the Talents.  A master entrusts his servants with pieces of gold.  The first and second double their share while the third servant buries it and does not multiply his share. The master desired the servants to use the gold to make more, not bury it.  To those who doubled their share he said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”  To the one who did not double his share he stated, “You wicked, lazy servant…For to everyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; but from the one who has not, even what he has will be taken away.”  (Matthew 25: 14-30) 

God gives each of us these gifts and these talents that we are called to make even more beautiful all our lives.  If we use these talents well God continues to entrust us with even more beautiful talents.  He gave my husband the gift of me to be his worthy wife.  I am a gift to my husband.  What?  I am not sure I have ever considered myself as a gift.  Today’s first reading and Gospel really called me to reflect upon how well my amazing husband has done in caring for those talents that God has given to him.  He takes this treasure of marriage very seriously and because of that our marriage has blossomed into way more than we started with.  I can honestly state that in fifteen years of marriage my husband has never made me feel disrespected or any less than him.  I know that most marriages today cannot make these claims. 

Because my husband has taken great care and responsibility of the talents God gave him, I am able to be the worthy wife that proverbs, and God, calls us women to be.  Because I work hard at being a worthy wife for my husband, he desires to take great care and responsibility.  Marriage is a team effort!  We help one another be the people we are called to be.  If I were choosing evil ways, Dan would have little to no motivation to care for the this “talent” of marriage we have. 

What are you doing to make sure that your marriage is treated as gift so that when we meet our Master he will say, Well done, good and faithful servant!”  What should you stop doing in your marriage so that our Master does not say, “You wicked, lazy servant!”  Are you a worthy wife?  Are you a worthy husband?  Help me Lord to always be the unfailing prize you call me to be as Dan’s wife…so that I can giggle and always remind Dan just how blessed he is!

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Wow!!!  Yes, that is the correct word to begin this blog post!  I think I am still in shock!  On the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus our country just experienced the overturning of an almost 50-year-old law regarding abortion.  Roe vs. Wade was overturned!  

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Year of Mercy
Amoris Laetitia, the much anticipated and eagerly awaited post-synodal apostolic exhortation, was finally promulgated on 19th March (appropriately the feast of St Joseph) and burst on to the global media stage at noon last Friday 8th April.  You may recall, if you’ve been following this weekly blog, that back in the October of 2014 I said I was going to write a thought for the weekend from synod to synod, as it were, and take it from there. Given the increasing popularity and very encouraging feedback many of you kindly send back week after week, I decided to continue posting the ‘Friday Fast’ after the 2015 Synod to keep the momentum going on family catechesis and spirituality so as to anticipate and prepare for what the Holy Father would eventually say.  Amoris Laetitia – The Joy of Love doesn’t disappoint in terms of the sheer quantity of the content to plough through (and believe me at 265 pages and 320 individual paragraphs, it takes some plowing through as I recorded in another online piece here for the Catholic Truth Society) I’ve not fully decided what to do yet in terms of utilizing the message of the Exhortation to furnish the blog each week with material, but rest assured if you haven’t time to read it, I will bring some nuggets from time to time which you might find helpful. I would certainly heartily recommend reading the section on the passage of St Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians on the hymn to love. The Pope has written some beautiful insights in there. Go to chapter 4 and read paragraphs 71-89 this weekend if you can, and even throughout Easter, as it’s not just food for thought, but reflections for prayerful meditation both alone, with your spouse or in a group. For now though I just like to leave you with this passage, especially as we continue to journey through the Year of Mercy, from paragraphs 321-322: “To want to form a family is to resolve to be a part of God’s dream, to choose to dream with him, to want to build with him, to join him in this saga of building a world where no one will feel alone”.  All family life is a “shepherding” in mercy. Each of us, by our love and care, leaves a mark on the life of others; with Paul, we can say: “You are our letter of recommendation, written on your hearts… not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God” (2 Cor 3:2-3).” This is comforting message. That each of our households – our families is deeply cherished by God our Father - we are, and always have been, part of His limitless imagination, and in the ordinary things of every day there is often the single most extraordinary channel of grace in our lives; forming, molding, shaping, forging us to be holy – bit by bit...hopefully! Edmund Adamus


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