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Not the Destination...

Marriage is a journey, not a destination...

In the Waiting...God is working

Sky_puzzle File:Sky puzzle.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

In the waiting…God is working!!!  Has anyone else ever had to wait for something they really wanted, and it seemed to take forever? Maybe it was in the supermarket line when you just wanted to get home!  How about after school when your child seems to take forever to get out of the building?  What about when you just want a prayer answered?  Waiting is not something I am good at, how about you?

From the time I was little I remember confessing my sin of impatience…spoiler alert, I still confess this sin.  The mantra I heard from my parents, especially my mom was, “patience is a virtue!” I pray for this virtue daily, and guess what?  God gives me ceaseless opportunities to grow in patience, and I fail daily!   My inability to be patient is something that truly drives me crazy about myself! 

As I reflect on the virtue of patience, I realize just how impatient I have been in the past, how much I have changed recently, and where I hope to be in the future. 

I remember one of the things that I have been most impatient about was my desire to be married.  From the time I was 18, I wanted so badly to find the perfect person to complete me.  (Heck, I dreamed of it from the time that I was 8!)  I watched all my college roommates get married, begin families, and here I was, ALONE!  22 came and went, 23, 24, 25…I prayed and prayed.  I shed so many tears.  Then at 26 the love of my life entered my life, without any warning.  He was perfect!  So perfect that it only took four months to figure out we were meant to be together forever.  God was working…in my waiting.  He was preparing me for the perfect person meant to complete me. 

Fast forward about eight years and the love of my life and I knew we were called to expand our family, but my body could not sustain a pregnancy.  I lost two babies in the matter of three months and I knew that I just could not do this anymore!  I was impatient with knowing that God called us to expand our family, but my body could not sustain it!  Why did he put this desire in my heart, if he would not allow me to fulfill it.  We had three biological children and Dan and I were always open to fostering and adoption, but we did not know this was the time to do it…but it was.  God was working…in my waiting.  He was preparing me to be ready to welcome our sweet son from China into our family. 

Today we have been called to practice patience as a family once again.  As I have written about before, we are awaiting the invitation to travel to get our son from China.  We have no idea when this invitation will be granted, but we believe that in our waiting…God is working.  Though it may not have been God’s intention for us to still not have our son we believe that God will make good come from our suffering and sacrifice. 

The next time you start to feel impatient in your life, I challenge you to remember, that in the waiting…God is working.  Even if your child is taking FOREVER to get out of school, remember, maybe they go slowly to make you holy!!!

Be Intentional this Lent
A Heart Changed by Humanae Vitae

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In our mission statement at CatholicMarriagePrep.com we say: “Agape Catholic Marriage Preparation invites couples to a deeper relationship with each other and with Christ, one couple at a time.  Online, on-demand instruction rooted in Saint John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, combined with personalized mentoring from a trained married couple, builds a foundation for a strong, healthy, Christ-centered marriage between a man and a woman.”  Who does that best serve?   From the very inception of CatholicMarriagePrep.com serving military couples has always been on our hearts, even offering a military discount.

Tara Brooke
28 June 2022

Wow!!!  Yes, that is the correct word to begin this blog post!  I think I am still in shock!  On the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus our country just experienced the overturning of an almost 50-year-old law regarding abortion.  Roe vs. Wade was overturned!  

One You May Have Missed

Edmund Adamus
01 April 2016
Family Life
When we had our first child, I had no idea how to be a parent and I am sure that echoes and resonates with many others who started out on this fascinating but rather frightening adventure that is being a parent... ... and obviously in my case being a father. However, it’s not just about being a good parent but being a good, dedicated, intentional Catholic parent raising Catholic children and that’s a whole different ball game as I am discovering day in day out with a 6 year old son and 2 year old daughter! Sure  I have bit of theology I can draw wisdom from, and some pastoral experience of supporting others that I can dredge my memory bank for when I need it.  But if I’m honest raising children continues to baffle me. Is there a method to becoming a good parent? I don’t think so because parenting isn’t like creating a perfect assembly line product— each child is different. And thank God they are for that’s what reminds me that we’re all unique, made in His image and likeness and that my children (though they share mine and my wife’s traits, our genes, my looks - God help them - though they are blessed with hers) are destined for eternity with Him and not to be my/our projects.       Although I don’t follow any parenting approach in particular, there are helpful hints to be found in the way that God parents us. I figure if anyone knows how it’s done, it’s God. These lessons aren’t limited to parents with strong faith though — they’re just grounded in common sense advice from child-raising experts. Our family hasn’t endured an adolescent (can’t abide the word ‘teenager’) yet, so we’re not in the slamming doors phase where the kids swear they’ll never forgive me for not letting them go to the party/disco whatever, but even our youngest can test my ability to patiently love her. Nevertheless it can be tough even now (no matter how cute they can be) to not return their naughty behavior by withdrawing my affection (though I’m a big softy really and I don’t withhold it for long – barely a few seconds a times!) As a parent, it’s natural to want to reward good behavior with affection because it might promote good behavior in the future, but one expert. Alfie Kohn, writes that it is far better to love children, “for who they are, not for what they do.” He goes on to list all sorts of subsequent issues that children develop when their parents love is conditional. When it comes to God’s parenting example, it is heartening that he never gives up on me. Another emphasizes unconditional acceptance and patience, saying; “God loves first, even when love is not returned.” My children might be ungrateful at times and fall short of my expectations, as they struggle to individuate and  find their place in the world, but no matter what, my job in my own imperfect fatherly way is to love them as patiently as possible because that’s the way God the Father loves each of us and as the venerable Fulton Sheen said: “Patience is power.”    Edmund Adamus

 

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