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Not the Destination...

Marriage is a journey, not a destination...

"Unmet Expectations!"

expectations

In my years as a Director of Family Ministry, along with my years as the Director of the Brooke Family I have come to know that one of the greatest problems that enters marriage and family life is what I would call “unmet, or unrealistic” expectations.  I served as the Director of Family Ministry for several years for my local diocese and part of that work was getting phone calls from couples in crisis, thinking divorce was the only option that they had.  

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I love him but he's driving me crazy!

broken-heart

Dear Ron,

My boyfriend and I are in our late twenties, have been dating for almost a year, and are seriously considering becoming engaged. He has many wonderful qualities, including being reliable, a hard worker, very affectionate, and always willing to talk about anything. My concern is regarding some personality differences that have come up between us. 

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Not taking ourselves too seriously is … a serious business!

Not taking ourselves too seriously is … a serious business!

If you’ve ever had to deal with a child who is devastated and in tears because of a disappointment or setback they have had to suffer, you know how hard it can be not to find it even slightly amusing, or be overwhelmingly tempted to patronise and pretend that the whole thing really isn’t that important and will blow over. 

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Practical Ways to Put your Spouse before your Kids.

Practical Ways to Put your Spouse before your Kids.

I’ve heard many times that in order to truly love your kids, you need to love your spouse first. 

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Be Slow to Anger

Be Slow to Anger

This sounds like a no-brainer, but I swear children are hard-wired to find our weak spots.


Even babies are out to get us or so it feels, like when our 2 year old wakes up at 1 or 2 am and won’t go back to sleep in her cot so ends up in the marital bed pummeling me in the back with both feet. Eventually she falls asleep while I lie awake for the next two hours, hopefully mustering up enough energy to carry her back to her own room and bed. Or like the time she so was pleased with herself at pouring full glasses of water over the brand new sofa (thank God it was only water!) she slow-clapped her efforts, and even though I laugh about it now, I wasn’t laughing then.

Biologists like Katherine Hinde know that babies cry at night for a reason. They’re not trying to make us miserable; they want to eat and survive. Even when my 6 year old son constantly leaves practically all of his toys out strewn across his bedroom floor all the time; it isn’t because he’s lazy about keeping tidy (though he needs to work on it) but because he wants to explore every permeation of his imaginary world with all of the objects (yes all at the same time) because he’s wanting to be creative and feel relaxed and happy about enjoying those toys without restriction or inhibition. I can’t be constantly annoyed about normal childhood development, nor do I have a right.  God is slow to anger, too. “Even when he scolds us, he does so with a caress,” Pope Francis reminds us. For me, this means no yelling because I had a bad day at work, or because I’m stressed from lack of sleep and it feels like we’ll never get out the front door on time for the school run or catching the train to work etc.  It means forgiving mistakes quickly, and disciplining only when it’s for my children’s own good.  In short it really means embracing not just the first bit of the famous ‘Serenity Prayer” but the lesser known second half too.

Serenity Prayer
Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 
Amen.

Edmund Adamus

 

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The Importance of Validation

The Importance of Validation

Validation of feelings, not parking, although parking could be important, too.

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Making oneself understood!

Making oneself understood!

Together with some colleagues this week I experienced some in-service training on “Managing Difficult People.” (We even got a certificate for it!) 

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Latest Blog Posts

In our mission statement at CatholicMarriagePrep.com we say: “Agape Catholic Marriage Preparation invites couples to a deeper relationship with each other and with Christ, one couple at a time.  Online, on-demand instruction rooted in Saint John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, combined with personalized mentoring from a trained married couple, builds a foundation for a strong, healthy, Christ-centered marriage between a man and a woman.”  Who does that best serve?   From the very inception of CatholicMarriagePrep.com serving military couples has always been on our hearts, even offering a military discount.

Tara Brooke
28 June 2022

Wow!!!  Yes, that is the correct word to begin this blog post!  I think I am still in shock!  On the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus our country just experienced the overturning of an almost 50-year-old law regarding abortion.  Roe vs. Wade was overturned!  

One You May Have Missed

Catholic Marriage Prep
16 November 2016
Questions
Global
Church
Spirituality
Society
Now that Pope Francis has made it clear there will never be women priests, it comes as a letdown for many.  It seems that we think that in order to have equality, women have to be able to do the exact same thing as men and vice versa. The problem is, men still can’t breastfeed or bear children, and women cannot insert sperm. 

 

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